A Slayer, A Watcher and A Vampire
by amy.ward.906
Summary: Set during Beer Bad-opening to a bad joke or a funny story? One Shot


**Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS**

**A/N: Set during Beer Bad-Spike is chipped and helping the Scoobies. **

Xander was working the bar and had just finished drawing 2 pitchers for some fraternity brothers. Man did her ever hate those guys, ever since the incident when he had helped rescue Buffy back in high school. Speaking of Buffy, she was over at a table in the corner with said fraternity brothers, drowning her sorrows in glass after glass of beer.

Damn! He knew Buffy and beer did not mix well. Not just beer, but any kind of alcohol. Damn Parker Abrams! This was his fault. If he hadn't hurt Buffy like this, she wouldn't be drinking. He wanted to get Buffy out of here. Something was wrong, he could sense it. Call it a spider sense or maybe a Scooby sense. Something was wrong, only he wasn't done with work for at least an hour. And he didn't want to send Buffy back to the dorm by herself. So he would call Willow.

**RING! RING! RING! RING!**

"_Hi you've reached the dorm of Buffy-_

"_And Willow."_

"_And Willow. We're not in right now-_

**CLICK!**

Xander hung up. If he couldn't reach Willow, then he had no choice but to call Giles.

**RING! RING!**

"Hello?"

At first Xander didn't recognize the voice at the other end of the line. Then recognition clicked.

"Spike, what are you doing at Giles's?"

"Answering the phone whelp, what's it to you?"

"I don't have time for your attitude Spike. Where's Giles?"

"Getting some books from someone. Why?"

'_Shit'_ "I need to talk to him. Any idea when he'll be back?"

"At least a couple of hours. What's wrong? Get yourself in a scrape? Need Watcher to get you out?"

"I'm fine-

"Oh well then-

"It's Buffy."

Spike automatically dropped his sarcastic tone of voice. "What's wrong with the slayer?"

"Not sure," Xander said. "I'm working here and something seems off. I need someone to come get her."

"What about Red?"

"Willow? I can't get a hold of her. She's not at the dorms. I don't get off work for at least another hour and I don't dare send Buffy back by herself. Look I need to get her out of here and pronto."

"Where is she?"

"Sundown, it's the bar about 3 blocks west of the campus."

"I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"But- Spike had already hung up.

Xander was clearing away some tables when Spike walked in.

"Finally, where the hell have you been?"

"Look don't give me any lip. Where is she?"

Xander motioned behind him. Buffy was over by the jukebox randomly hitting the buttons.

"Do you know if she has any classes tomorrow?" Spike asked.

"Spring Break, they're off for a week."

"Good." Spike went over to Buffy, picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. Buffy immediately started hitting him. Spike dug his nails into her leg (got a slight headache in the process), and she stopped. Xander saw what he did and yelled at him.

"Spike put her down!"

"Why?"

"She's not a sack of potatoes!"

"Look this is the quickest way to get her back to Giles's."

"No way, you take her back to the dorms."

"Can't," Spike stated.

"Yes you can. You can and you will."

"Look, first off don't know where they are, and second, don't got an invite and she's not in any state of mind to give me one. Don't got much option."

Xander knew Spike was right. Man this sucked. "Fine but if you hurt her-

"Can't remember? I'm chipped."

"Don't you mean neutered?"

"Sod off whelp."

Spike got Buffy back to the Watcher's as quickly as possible. Once they got inside, he set her down on the sofa.

"How are you doing Slayer?"

She answered by throwing up all over Spike. Then she raced to the bathroom and threw up even more. Spike cleaned himself up in the kitchen and then cleaned up the floor in front of the sofa. After changing his clothes he went to the bathroom.

"Slayer, you alright in there?"

All he could here was coughing. He knocked on the door and opened it a crack. There he saw the Slayer with her head on the edge of the toilet. Face red as fire, her eyes closed, exhausted from expelling the alcohol in her system. Spike knelt down in front of her, pushing back a few strands of hair from her face.

"How are you doing, pet?"

All Buffy could do was whimper. Her throat hurt too much to talk, hurt from throwing up.

"You done puking?"

Buffy nodded a little, so Spike carefully picked her up in a bridal hold, took her to the living room and laid her down on the couch. Grabbing a blanket and draping it over her, he kissed her lightly on the forehead and stroked her cheek with is knuckles.

"Get some rest. The Big Bad will keep watch."

"Spike?"

"Just sleep now," Spike said, his voice already fading as her mind fell into darkness.

"Thanks," she said, although it came out mumbled as she finally fell asleep.

"Anytime luv."

A couple of hours later and Giles finally found himself at home after retrieving the books he had set out for. As he let himself inside and set down the books he noticed Spike sitting in his favorite armchair. As he approached Spike to get him to move, Spike noticed him and motioned for him to keep quiet and pointed to the couch.

Giles tiptoed over and saw Buffy asleep. As Giles wondered what happened, Spike got up and went into the kitchen. Giles followed.

"Was she hurt on patrol?"

"No she just got herself drunk and the whelp called. He needed someone to come get her."

"Why didn't Xander let her go back to the dorms?"

"He said something was wrong, said he sensed it. The bar did seem a bit off to me as well when I got there so I brought her back here."

"Xander couldn't reach Willow I presume?"

"Nope, and I don't have an invite to her dorm."

Giles realized the grave nature of the situation, so he nodded to Spike in a show of thanks. Spike gave a look of understanding and opened the fridge and got some blood to put in the microwave. Giles went back out to the living room and saw the blanket covering Buffy. He carefully pulled it up a bit more, tucking it in around her shoulders, trying not to wake her. But fate was not kind as Buffy stirred a bit.

"Mmpph…Giles?" Buffy whispered as her eyes half opened.

"Shhh..." Giles said quietly. "Go back to sleep." He bent down and brushed his lips over her forehead, like a father would, tucking his daughter in bed for the night. Buffy curled herself deeper into the couch, falling back asleep in mere seconds.

_The next morning…_

Buffy rose about 8 am. Spike was getting his blood in the kitchen and Giles had just made tea. As the two of them sat down in the living room and Buffy woke up, recalling the actions from the night before, Xander came in.

"Morning everyone!"

"God Xander shut up!" Buffy yelled.

"Awe isn't our resident slayer awake this morning?" Buffy just glared at Xander. _'If looks could kill I'd be dead'_ Xander thought. Spike started to make a snarky comment, but Buffy whipped her head in his direction, making the room spin. All of a sudden Xander started lauging. Giles looked at him, wondering what was so funny.

"You guys don't get it?"

Giles just gave him a look of confusion. "Please enlighten us."

Okay here it goes. This room looks like a bad joke."

Everyone just got more confused. Xander was in disbelief.

"Come on. A Slayer, a Watcher and a Vampire-

Spike chocked on his blood as Giles spit out his tea. All Buffy could do was turn red in the face.

"Xander!


End file.
